


But We Have Each Other's Back

by HeereandThere



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Jeremy helps him calm down a bit, Michael has anxieties about graduating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 07:43:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14732810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeereandThere/pseuds/HeereandThere
Summary: "Why do I feel like I'm choking lately?What am I doing here?Why do I feel like I'm choking lately?What am I looking for?Maybe schoolOr maybe loveOr maybe none of the aboveIs the answerMaybe for once I'll really tryOr f**k it all and just get high'Cause that's an answerFeels like an answer"





	But We Have Each Other's Back

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration: https://youtu.be/Vv4YXD2N3XM

"Michael!"

Michael was abruptly ripped from his hazy trance by someone's firm grip on his shoulder and hollering in his ear. Surprised, he jumped slightly and whirled around to meet Rich's troubled gaze. As he glanced around the room, he noticed that all of his friends were giving him slight variations of the same concerned look. How long had he been immersed in his own thoughts?

Christine approached first, bright blue graduation gown billowing around her legs in a finicky fashion as she stepped forward. "Michael, are you okay? You look..." She hesitated for a moment, unsure if he would take offense to the adjective she had in mind. "... awful."

"What?" Michael lamely offered in response, showing just how unfocused he was.

Jake piped up this time. "Dude, you look like you're about to lose it."

"Do you feel okay?" Christine reiterated, putting a gentle hand on his arm. "You've been acting really out of it all day."

Michael let slip an anxious laugh, shaking off the accusations. However, if he were to be honest with himself, he felt unusually weary and nervous. "I dunno what you're talking about," he lied. "Never felt better!"

Chloe raised an eyebrow. "Wow. I never pinned you for a bad liar."

"Shut up," Michael pitifully countered. It was intended as a statement that was mean in a friendly way, but it came out significantly more blunt than it sounded in his head.

"Look," Christine continued, "we're all really nervous! It's totally normal. You're just normally so... positive. You're starting to worry us a little. So... Swear you're okay?"

"Promise."

"Hey, Michael?" He glanced over his shoulder to meet Jeremy's worried gaze. "You wanna head outside for a minute? Maybe get some fresh air?"

"Uh... Yeah, sure."

The two of them left the others behind, pacing down the rec center's corridor and eventually stepping out into the parking lot, where relatives and family friends were still arriving for the graduation ceremony. The cool, crisp New Jersey night air pierced every uncovered inch of their skin and the sound of cars zooming by on the busy city streets filled the air. Jeremy seemed somewhat uncomfortable in this cold and noisy situation, shiverig and shifting awkwardly, but the scenery change did Michael a lot of good in a short measure of time. He felt more grounded here than in the stuffy back room.

"Alright, what's up with you?" Jeremy's tone was accusatory, but his expression betrayed his concern.

Michael didn't look back at him. "I already told you, I'm fine."

"Look, I know you better than, like, everyone else. You've been super out of it, and I wanna know why."

"Well, I'm me and me knows there's nothing wrong with... me. Wait a minute."

Jeremy backed up slightly, pressing his back against the glass door that led back into the building. "We're not going back in until you talk to me."

Michael scoffed. "You wouldn't." Jeremy didn't budge. "You do realize there are other ways back in, right?"

"Yeah, but... I'll get there first! I'm faster."

"What? No, you're not."

"Yeah, I know."

Despite the fact that there were other routes besides the one his friend was currently blocking, Michael found himself prefering to stay right here. "Look, if you wanna throw down, I can make you move." He gave Jeremy a cocky look, but he wasn't wrong. On the occasion where they would wind up wrestling one another over something utterly ridiculous, Michael would always prevail, utilizing his advantage of not being a total weakling. There was no reason this should have been any different.

"I know." It came out slightly timidly, but Jeremy narrowed his eyes, adamant. "But will you?"

Michael's face fell. Based on the tone at which his friend spoke and the sinking feeling rising in his chest, it had ceased being a joke to both of them. The panicky sensation gripped him again and his mood seemed to do a full 360° after a moment of silence between them. When he finally spoke once more, he spat out his words a tad aggressively. "Fine. You really wanna know?"

"That was kind of the point of us being out here."

"Alright, well," he gestured at himself wildly, "I'm totally, 100% NOT ready for this. I hope you're happy knowing your best friend is a complete loser who failed to prepare for life beyond high school."

Jeremy was taken aback. "What?"

"You know!" He didn't, but Michael just kept going instead of looking for a response. "It's just... Everyone knows EXACTLY what they wanna do now that we're getting out of school and I'm still clueless! Chloe's going to law school, Jenna's going into journalism, Rich's looking into graphic design, and the list goes on! Then you look at me and I'm just the loser who's brain is still in high school mode." He pathetically sat down on the curb and took his glasses off so he could rub the bridge of his nose. "It's stupid, I know."

"Where the hell did that come from?" Jeremy sat down next to him. "You've always been the super chill one."

"Yeah, I guess, but... I dunno." Michael had wound down rather quickly, but instead of acting eratically, he seemed exhausted. It wasn't exactly the perfect trade-off. "I guess I just thought that by the time graduation rolled around, everything'd fall into place. But the closer today got, the more I panicked. I don't have any plans for the future and the minute I come off that stage, my life officially starts. I can't shake stuff off just by locking myself in my basement, anymore."

Jeremy still wasn't entirely sure how to respond; he was the one who got easily anxious and would need to vent to Michael, not vice-versa. 

Dejection rang true in Michael's voice as he finished before Jeremy could respond. "Thanks for listening. You don't have to stay out here." His wallowing in self pity, however, was cut short when Jeremy instinctively wrapped his arms around his neck in an embrace. Michael was shocked at first, since he was more inclined to indulge in public displays of affection than his player 2, but, when he came to accept everything was upside-down that night, he wholeheartedly sank into the hug.

"Look," Jeremy started after pulling away, "I know I'm not the best with these kinds of things, but... I mean, you've always just kind of gone with whatever and you're still okay, right? I've been planning college stuff for months now and I still have more confidence in you." This drew out a small, sheepish smile from both of them. "I guess what I'm saying is that we're only 18. There's plenty of time to pick, and you've got college to look forward to. You're gonna be fine, dude."

Michael's expression shifted into a sort of solemn euphoria. "Thanks, man. That... It means a lot more than you probably think it does."

"I'm warning you: there's not a whole lot I can do if you start crying."

"Got it."

"Uh... Guys? Hello?" They both whirled around to see Jenna and Brooke standing in the doorway, waiting for them to recover from their little moment. Jenna waved to get their attention. "Unless you wanna miss your own graduation, you might wanna get back in here."

"Oh, yeah! Right!" Jeremy hastily rose, brushing himself off. The people awaiting their return had slipped their minds entirely. 

Though he was now in a bit of a hurry to get back inside, Jeremy held out a hand to help Michael up, offering an awkward smile. "You ready?"

Michael returned it as best as he could as he took Jeremy's hand. His nerves were still irritatingly in overdrive, but he felt a miniscule surge of confidence.

"As ready as I'll ever be."


End file.
